Sandwich Haters, Bangers, and Degenerates
The BEST thing to make with ground chicken and what the hell you should do with kohlrabi
Look, I am probably never going to eat a sandwich in a nice way ever again. I like the idea of a sandwich, but taking a massive bite of a truckload of protein stuffed between two slabs of bread just doesn’t do it for me. It’s unnecessary, and it’s messy.
For clarification, it’s not the contents of a sandwich that really grind my gears, but the massive bite that it takes to get through everything in a nice way. I don’t want sauce on my face, never have. It is actually a joke amongst my friends that I can’t eat a meal without a napkin. (I have tried.) And I am downright flabergasted when someone doesn’t even think about getting a napkin before they sit down for their meal, like what are you people doing, just sitting through a meal with sauce all over your face? Fingers? Blouse? That is a serious question; please respond immediately, non-napkin users.
Sandwich debacle aside, what I am cooking up this week was supposed to be eaten as chicken meatball sliders, on a bun with some slaw. I’m not doing that. BUT I am making these patties because they are SO incredibly flavorful (I accidentally doubled the green onion amount one time) and that happy accident created this savory chicken onion bomb that I constantly crave!
I loosely follow this recipe, doubling the green onions, from Smitten Kitchen. One of the OG food bloggers who has some BANGER recipes that I repeat time and time again. So please make the recipe as she intended, or just do what I do and make the patties à la carte.
I will often double the recipe as I KNOW I want to eat these throughout the week. Normally, I would plead my case to make these as meatballs to save you the mess of pan-frying these on the stove top, but the chicken really comes to life with a little fry action. You will miss out on some major flavor opportunities if you opt to bake these in the oven, but don’t let me tell you how to live (BUT YOU BETTER USE A NAPKIN)!
Lunch or dinner is a great time to whip out a couple of these patties, but you could honestly have them for breakfast with a fried egg on top and hit all your protein and satiating goals, if you were so inclined.
If you are ever curious whether or not something can or should be eaten for breakfast, just put an egg on it and BAM, it’s breakfast. That is your kitchen hack for the day😂.
Don’t sleep on these chicken patties! Make double and keep some in the freezer for a rainy day.
The best way to cook your chicken patties is by shallow frying. Do you know what a shallow fry is? No worries, I am gonna break down all the different types of frying so you don’t have to question if you should shallow fry, pan fry, or deep fry EVER again.
Types of frying:
Shallow Fry (Pan Fry) - The food is only partially submerged in oil and requires cooking on each side, so a good gently flip is in order. THINK: Our green onion chicken patties, cutlets, fillets of fish, and halloumi.
Deep Fry - What dreams and bellies are made of, that sweet, sweet vat of oil just waiting to fry up anything we dare to batter. Here, the food is completely submerged in hot oil, the outside becomes crispy, and the inside is soft and moist. THINK: Fries, donuts, chicken, tempura veggies, popcorn shrimpies, and corn dogs! (Like I really had to explain deep frying🙃.)
Sautéing - This is the most common way to cook almost anything. It uses a small amount of fat (butter, oil, tallow). Food is usually cut into small pieces and stirred and tossed around until tender and caramelized. THINK: Vegetables of all kinds, sausage, ground beef, scallops, thinly sliced meat. If it’s thin, small, and cooks in under 10 minutes, it’s usually good for sautéing.
Stir fry - The best way to stir fry is in a wok! There is little oil, and the pan is screaming hot. Ingredients are cut small and added in increments to ensure everything is done cooking at the same time. The pan needs to be constantly moving so nothing is left on the bottom of the pan to burn (hence the shape of a wok). THINK: Vegetables, noodles, thinly sliced meats, rice, shrimp, tofu.
What is you prefered fry method?
The weird-looking, degenerate posing vegetable that you always have to ask the farmer, now what is this again? Kohlrobis are out loud and proud at the farmers markets right now!
Raise your hand if you have ever eaten kohlrabi.
Keep it raised if you have cooked it at home.
Keep it raised if you went out of your way to purchase it and cook it at home.
I differentiate this because sometimes this veggie ends up in a CSA box or you are gifted some from a neighbor’s abundant garden, and you are FORCED to deal with them, whether you want to or not.
I am guessing not too many of you have your hands still up, but if you do, great. You are already rooting for and eating an underdog vegetable.
By underdog, I mean any vegetable that is not a household name, think carrot and potato. Am I being dramatic? A little. I am shocked at the number of people I have come across who do not know what certain vegetables look like. I have been into food for as long as I can remember. And not only into food but curious about food, ingredients, cooking methods, I wanted to try EVERYTHING. Never thought I would grow up to be a Chef one day☺️.
My culinary education started from watching TV, that’s right! I grew up watching cooking shows on PBS. My mom would record them on a VHS tape every Saturday so I could then sit down and devour, aka binge-watch, on a lazy Sunday. (Look at me binging before it was cool.) I took everything in, and when I actually started being active in the kitchen, all those hours of tv time logged came rushing back to me and I found myself strangely knowing how to julienne!
Here she is, the kohlrabi. Breathtaking.
Part of the Brassica oleracea family. THINK cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, kale, brussel sprouts. Also known as a German turnip cabbage, seems fitting.
The skin of the Kohlrabi is very tough and MUST be peeled before cooking, no to peel or not to peel drama here. I diligently peeled and sliced into 1/4 inch batons.
I took a decent-sized bite of one of the raw batons…
VILE WEED.
You can eat Kohlrabi raw, but you need to slice it thinner, as the texture was not nice; it is bitter and starchy. Imagine biting into a larger radish like an apple, not pleasant. Slice them thin to balance the taste and mouthfeel of both the radish and the kohlrabi.
Know what do we do with her? (The kohlrabi)
When in doubt, braise it in butter. This is the motto for introducing new things to gen pop, and it goes beyond veggies. If someone is nervous about fish, baste it in butter; if someone is nervous about cabbage, soak it in butter; if someone doesn’t know what the hell to do with a kohlrabi, BRAISE IT IN BUTTER.
Is butter the answer to all of our problems?? The short answer is yes, you are part of the Butter Cult after all!
Put kolhrabi slices into a pan with butter, and a pinch of salt and pepper, then cover and let hang out until tender. It will take about 15-20 minutes.
You know it is done when some parts of the kohlrabi are carmelized and it still holds its shape.
I served my butter-braised beauty on a nice swoop of yogurt. Top with a chimichurri or pesto of your choosing, OR a heavy sprinkle of herbs and a squeeze of lemon is also acceptable.
When in doubt, braise it in butter💛
How do you find yourself reading this? Does it come straight to your inbox when you procrastinate at work? Are you scrolling scrolling scrolling? Did you sign up for the carrier pigeon option? (It's very chic but maybe a tad messy.) I recommend jumping on the Substack app and having a good look around. There are SO many beautiful writers and the topics are ENDLESS! I, of course, love food, art, and travel, and find myself bouncing around these categories and discovering what I call newsletter gems. The writing is lovely, the topic is on point, and I start dreaming of living on some land, growing and preserving my own food, and living a life full of community, art, and dinner parties under apple trees. That is exactly what I found in Rachel Hardacre - On the Acre.
On the Acre is her love story with all things homegrown on her one acre of land, captured through the lens of an artist both practicing and at heart. Her photographs are beautiful, recipes full of flavor and coziness, and isn’t a dinner party under apple trees the ultimate goal in life? Definitely worth the subscribe♥️
I love creating and curating recipes, dinner parties, and gardens that are at their core good and beautiful, and gather people together to enjoy it. We as humans need beauty, and I cannot get enough creating and collaborating to bring beautiful moments and good food together.
Join me on the Acre–we now live on an acre of land, I grew up on five acres of woods, and my last name is Hardacre–my content is a mix of seasonal recipes, kitchen notes, dinner party curations, natural dyes, and garden updates.
Rachel Hardacre
What you put in your brain matters just as much as what you put in your mouth. On the Acre by Rachel Hardacreis one of substance and will keep you full until lunchtime♥️
Cheers,
Nicole | Butter Cult
Photo proof that we are a real human (and cat) over here cooking, writing, and laughing with you every week.
